Mayne I Miss My Blog

I can't seem to find the time to blog anymore. I mentioned a couple weeks ago that I was starting school and man ... It's been crazy ever since. Matter of fact. I'm typing a paper RIGHT THIS MINUTE ... Well I'm supposed to be anyway, I'mma call this my blog break. Alotta sh** been going down that I wish I could've blogged about but BLAH. Yall seen that "Yo Side of The Bed" video? Joint was tight yo. She ain't had to .... n/m. Don't wanna spoil it for you if u ain't already seen it. Well Peace OT! I gotta finish this paper before midnight!

No TiTlE Part 2...

Sooo i went off to college... no more ball playing for me. I was forced to pick up the books and be a regular geek. Something I wasn't accustomed to doing. Met a girl that probably changed me for both better and worse. Our demise was probably all my fault b/c I couldn't seem to commit to her for nothin til it was too late. I always felt that something was holding me back from givin my all to her. I blamed it on me always seeing something for what it was at the time and it all coming to a crumbling halt in the end. I mean, there was another high school break up that I'd gone thru with THEE most prettiest girl in America i still say today lol, the leaving my friends at my former school, the losing the scholarship... all that stuff Guess I figured she'd always be there, but she wasn't. Another let down .... I panicked, didn't know what to do. All i knew was that life would have to go on and I'd have to move on ... Sooo, I managed to be smart enough in college to actually earn a degree and graduate. Finding a job wasn't all that difficult. I preferred to be closer to home so i searched and searched but found nothing ... Then i get a call from a FORTUNE 500 company in VA and the details of the job were too good to pass up. I accepted it, and here i am now. Met a couple people here and there but it jes seems that everyone I meet is jes a complete let down :-\. You get all interested and excited about sumbody only to have them slam the door in your face.
The story of my life. "Everything that seems real only looks phonier". Every time I'm down and out, I picture myself on the football field. Replaying certain events & plays that took place during my tenure. I wonder why i do this... Maybe its because football was my comfort zone ... I felt at home with a ball in my hands, hittting people, talkin shyt ... -hunches- I dunno. I've since found a passion in weightlifting... (im about down to 193 lbs now for those of u that were keeping up) :-). That's just me ... I guess not many of you knew any of this but YEP! :-). I sometimes dream I'm back out there playin ball which is kinda gay I know ... but it makes me happy. I was happy back then ... always happy, jolly, and lookin forward to things. Now it's just like everything I get involved in is a hopeless pipedream. Like now days it seems that every thing is a lie, I can't remember the last time I was truly happy .. I lived and breathed (is that a word) sports, competiting. But I still strap up and go in head first cuz I know I can, I've been through too much to let stuff get me down ... i'm better than that. O yea ... shout out to my Jr, and Sr year high school Math teacher/track coach who told my moms I'd never make it through college because I sucked at math. Guess what .... I graduated AND i'm probably making more $$ than you make annually.... BISH!

No TiTlE Part 1...

I come to you today with a heavy heart. Why you ask? I don't even know. I don't even have anything to blog about ... Well I do but I don't wanna talk about it :-). Let's talk about me again, afterall, this IS about me. I remember coming up ... I was athletic little chap. I was always the tallest in the class. I had rocks for biceps ... I was IT. I even once got recruited by a local high school just to come play football for them. My Pee-Wee/Sertoma f-ball coach at the time suggested the high school coach come and give me a look when I was 12 yrs old in a game where I ran the ball 17 times for 254 yard and had a 70 yard TD run called back due to penalty. So I still tell people i ran for 324 yards :). SOoo interviewed at the school, didn't like it. I wanted to play ball with my close friends. By 8th grade I was on the varsity team playing special teams. I never had a set position, I was placed everywhere and labeled an "ATHLETE" cuz I could play multiple positions. ... Freshmen year, the starting Senior QB got hurt during summer and would be out for a while so coach decides to make me his QB. I can still remember stayin after class and him talkin to me and another coach "This guy doesn't know it yet but i'm going to make him our QB". I remember feeling like "WoW, I'm only like 15 yrs old". I preferred to play somewhere else where I could better utilize my skillset but he said "I trust you with the ball in your hands to make decisions more than anyone else out there. I want you to go out there and learn to take command of the huddle". The whole rest of the summer I spent time throwing the ball, even went to the Manning Passing Academy. Season came around and I did the **** thang. We sucked as a team in years prior. Probably winning 2 games in 2 years at most. I started and the team went 3-2 in the starting QB's absense. He returned and we split time at QB. I was more of the running QB and he was the "pocket passer" per say. Anyway, we finished the year 5-5. I did track and baseball and was pretty awesome at it... Matta of fact, I was probably better at baseball than anything. But bump that, f-ball is where the heart was.
The next summer, coming into my Soph year, there were high expectations. No more splitting time w/ the starting QB, the position was all mine. I can still remember around this time, i was still a goody goody boi... I didn't curse or anything like that but when I was on the f-ball field, I was a diff person. I felt like i HAD to be vulgar to earn the respect of the older guys and it worked. They watched over me and treated me like a little brother. I'd cry everytime we'd lose a game because I'd feel like I let the team down, my heart was just THAT big. Everything was awesome, I earned the trust of the coach so much that he let me even call and run my own plays at times. (I miss that guy) Even though he couldn't coach for ****. A lot was asked of me at an early age. That Soph season was tubular. We made the playoffs for the 1st time in years! Then all came down :-|.
My moms and pops figured it'd be a good idea I transfer b/c my grades weren't all that great and they knew I was capable of better. They knew I didn't care though as long as I had my friends and was able to play ball. So I got transferred to this school w/ a prestigious football program. My name was all over newspapers about the transfer ... it was kinda exciting :).. But I was upset that I had to leave my friends. I was called a traitor and still am til this day lol. I vowed not to do my work in order to get back at my parents but that didn't work :-\. I didn't have to play QB ... I thrived on defense at the LB/Safety positions instead. I liked to hit people ... I was only like 5'8" 160 lbs but I had alot of anger built up just because I had to be there so when i hit ... i HIT. I played some offense, primarily as a receiver and RB but we never had to throw the ball cuz we were that awesome. Anyway ... talked to a former coach of mine sometime during my senior year and he said he'd been keepin up w/ me and wanted to see how i was doing, told me it was good that I was playin primarily on defense cuz that's what i'd be doing on the next level. He sent out some tapes of me to some schools and I had a few come to see me, and one school who i refuse to name at this time even offer me a scholarship only to take it away due to the fact that I hurt my shoulder pretty bad, had surgery. I don't think the surgery was all that a huge success. I remember waking up on the recovery table or w/e you call it. All drugged up, w/ the breathin mask on, coughing uncontrollably, doctors running frantically; me being all drugged up had no idea what was going on... i just knew I couldn't stop coughing and coughing up blood at that. The mask was all full of blood and ish i swore i was gonna die. Turns out, my lungs somehome had been flooded with fluids during the surgery, docs didn't know what was wrong til they did a couple x-rays and gave me some kinda shot to release the fluids. But anyway, after surgery everything was a big let down. I blamed it all on my folks, if it weren't for them I felt that I would not have even been put in the predicament. We did so happen to win a state championship though. We only lost 2 games in 2 yrs ... so I didn't even have to cry anymore after we'd lose :). To be cont....