Sooo i went off to college... no more ball playing for me. I was forced to pick up the books and be a regular geek. Something I wasn't accustomed to doing. Met a girl that probably changed me for both better and worse. Our demise was probably all my fault b/c I couldn't seem to commit to her for nothin til it was too late. I always felt that something was holding me back from givin my all to her. I blamed it on me always seeing something for what it was at the time and it all coming to a crumbling halt in the end. I mean, there was another high school break up that I'd gone thru with THEE most prettiest girl in America i still say today lol, the leaving my friends at my former school, the losing the scholarship... all that stuff Guess I figured she'd always be there, but she wasn't. Another let down .... I panicked, didn't know what to do. All i knew was that life would have to go on and I'd have to move on ... Sooo, I managed to be smart enough in college to actually earn a degree and graduate. Finding a job wasn't all that difficult. I preferred to be closer to home so i searched and searched but found nothing ... Then i get a call from a FORTUNE 500 company in VA and the details of the job were too good to pass up. I accepted it, and here i am now. Met a couple people here and there but it jes seems that everyone I meet is jes a complete let down :-\. You get all interested and excited about sumbody only to have them slam the door in your face.
The story of my life. "Everything that seems real only looks phonier". Every time I'm down and out, I picture myself on the football field. Replaying certain events & plays that took place during my tenure. I wonder why i do this... Maybe its because football was my comfort zone ... I felt at home with a ball in my hands, hittting people, talkin shyt ... -hunches- I dunno. I've since found a passion in weightlifting... (im about down to 193 lbs now for those of u that were keeping up) :-). That's just me ... I guess not many of you knew any of this but YEP! :-). I sometimes dream I'm back out there playin ball which is kinda gay I know ... but it makes me happy. I was happy back then ... always happy, jolly, and lookin forward to things. Now it's just like everything I get involved in is a hopeless pipedream. Like now days it seems that every thing is a lie, I can't remember the last time I was truly happy .. I lived and breathed (is that a word) sports, competiting. But I still strap up and go in head first cuz I know I can, I've been through too much to let stuff get me down ... i'm better than that. O yea ... shout out to my Jr, and Sr year high school Math teacher/track coach who told my moms I'd never make it through college because I sucked at math. Guess what .... I graduated AND i'm probably making more $$ than you make annually.... BISH!
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